| No words of sorrow or regret... but just thankful for God's faithfulness these past five years. Even as you read this, I'm probably on the road back to Kansas where I will be reminiscing, praying, and probably sweating in the 90 degree weather thanks to a blown fuse in my A/C... but I'll still be smiling all the way because I know this was the place God wanted me to be. Champaign-Urbana... doesn't sound like much but this was where this simple Kansas girl grew in her walk-stumble-trip-and-fall with God.
Many mistakes were made along the way and I won't pretend that my heart doesn't break a little when I remember... but if feelings are just our attachment to the pleasures and pains of memories... then I know I will be okay and I know God will help me get through it. There will be new memories to make and other ways God will show me his undeserving love and this thing called grace that always blows my mind. I just wanted to give a special thanks to my church that I've served and ran away from these past years. I can still remember the first sermon Pastor Min preached on that Sunday I entered campus. I sat in McKinley like a scared little freshman as a very humble man stood in front of what was, to me, the biggest crowd of Asians I've ever seen. He spoke on Mary Magdalene and gave one of the most beautiful depictions on that passage- the woman who ran wildly around in search of love but finally found it at the feet of Jesus. It never occurred to me that I would eventually become that woman...
"Remember... even after one minute of prayer... you are never.... never.... the same again..."
I will remember this, and if God enables me, I will continue to fight no matter where I am in the world...
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